I won't let him in, but I'm a sucker for his charm

Birthdays are stupid. And pointless. And everyone just ends up letting you down anyway.

Fuck birthdays.

I spent my birthday with rum by myself in my room, IMing Mojito and talking about how much I hate my life.

Drinking with friends is a party. Drinking alone is a depressant.

I need to get out of the midwest and actually start making steps to improving my life. The upside to this shitty birthday? At leasy I won't miss anyone when I'm gone.

Trouble is a Friend - Lenka

fuck you, fuck you very, very much

Got canceled on last minute again tonight by the same guy. Whatever.

So it's my birthday in two days. I'm not excited because I've already passed all of the ages that you're supposed to look forward to. Twenty-two is just... pointless. I lose my health insurance. ... Yay.

Going to IHOP in a few hours, then tomorrow I close food avenue and then I'm going to Hacienda followed by a gay bar with B and a couple of lesbians. :)

Fuck You - Lily Allen

I get back up and I do it again

So moving back in with the parents? Yeah. It's going to happen. Just for a few months. I'll figure something out. I will, I will.

But to treat myself to something for all of my hard work this past year, I'm going to take a trip. DC, Boston, and NYC. That's right, bitches.

More details later.

Why Do You Love Me? - Garbage

I suffer mornings most of all

So my roommate decided that he's moving out. I don't blame him, he's got somewhere else to stay for free - hell, I'd take it too.

I'm just disappointed. Another chapter in my life is about to end, and I need to figure out where the next one will take place. My mother wants me to move back in with her, but there are many reasons why that would be a very bad idea.

- My dad is crazy. Like, used to be a meth addict, is still an alcoholic, loves his whiskey, crazy. Drama ensues.

- It's out in the middle of nowhere. I'd have to drive at least forty minutes to get to work.

- I can't have people over whenever I want because my dad is scary. Namely boys. Boys that I want to sleep with.

- I'll feel like a failure for moving back in with my parents. I'm about to turn twenty-two. C'mon.

- I have nowhere to put all of my furniture and shit.

- WHERE THE FUCK WOULD I HAVE MY HARRY POTTER PARTY?

These are all very important factors.

I'm looking into finding another apartment. Moving back in with the parents, though practical financially wise, would really fucking suck.

Have to Drive - Amanda Palmer

I want to change the world, instead I sleep

Do you ever wake up and think, "shit, it's gotta be really early still." and look at the clock and it's FUCKING ONE IN THE AFTERNOON.

I hate waking up and feeling like I didn't sleep at all. I had really stupid dreams about Target. Okay, so this was weird... I had a dream that I had cleaned out the popcorn machine and I still had bags of popcorn in there with the warmer on so they would still be hot. And apparently, in my dream world, the warmer kept them so hot that all of the seeds that were still in the bag popped and there was a big mess of popcorn all up in the machine that I had JUST cleaned.

Working this much just sucks and gives me dreams that make no sense. :(

Still haven't heard back from stand up guy. It's been... what? Two days. I'm not one of those girls who get really upset about boys and stuff, but I still feel like he's treated me pretty shitty so far.

So yeah.

I've opened word every single day and I've changed the font to Tahoma and I sat there and stared at it, and still haven't written anything. I suck.

Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson

tell me about the sky

Being let down really sucks. I had plans last night to have a kind of "date" with this new guy, who is NOT named Matt. We were going to watch 500 Days of Summer and probably have sex. I spent like, two hours cleaning my room, an hour in the shower, and I get out of the shower and I have a message saying "I can't make it tonight. Sorry. I'll text you"

Whatever.

So I cried and I'm really embarrassed to admit that, but I couldn't help it. I haven't cried in a while, and it was all built up, and I got my hopes about it, and I just got really upset. So my friend that I've been carpooling with all summer to that theme park came over and we watched Grey's Anatomy and ate peanut butter cup Edy's ice cream. I have no name for her, we shall call her Shelby.

It made me feel better,but I'm still really bummed. I just feel rejected.

Blah.

Man From Milwaukee - Hanson (no, I'm serious.)