growing up goes slow

I just had a dream that it was two weeks ago and Chris was still alive. In my dream, I was at work and Chris was looking at CDs and I knew that he was going to die. And all that I could seem to do was hug him and tell him that I love him and ask him over and over again if he's doing okay. And then he was gone.

Not sleeping so great the past couple of days.

Sad Song - Christina Perri

sometime's love is not enough and the road gets tough, I don't know why.

One week ago today, a truly horrible tragedy took place on Eureka Road.

I have a best friend. We've loved and cared for each other for the past seven years (even when we've fought every other month), and he lost his little brother exactly one week ago.

They say to not speak ill of the dead, but here's the thing; there's absolutely nothing ill to speak of. Christopher Brown was one of the nicest people that you will ever meet. I don't know exactly how to explain it in terms that anyone will fully comprehend, but Chris was one in a million.

When Matty and I would bother him, he'd never get mad. He told us to leave him alone, of course, but there was always laughter in his voice. He had the kind of smile that could make anyone smile back. And, boy, could that kid grow a beard.

I feel like I don't have words...

Chris took his own life Wednesday night. I saw him in a casket Saturday evening and watched them put him into the ground on Sunday afternoon.

This is something that you can't possibly understand until you've gone through it, but everyone who is reading this needs to know that people love you. People fucking love you. Don't you dare get to that point.

Born to Die - Lana Del Rey