my heart stops, I already know

So the sister is moving back home. This is going to prove very annoying.

TORCHWOOD OMG. So good. Left it with a huge cliffhanger, so I'm going to go crazy waiting for the next episode. Oh, and some hot Jack being nakedness, so definitely a plus.

I have to cashier tomorrow from 8:30 until 5. I'm. Going. To. Die. I hate cashiering for a couple of hours, let alone for a full day. And I have to get up super early and everything. Grr arg. I hope I get this promotion - put in my application yesterday. Cross your fingers...

School starts up on Tuesday. Four days. Yikes. Four days and say goodbye to a social life. At least until my birthday, when I've asked the entire weekend off and plan on getting totally shit faced. Yay!

Spoke to a guy that I used to talk to a lot back in the day. If he wasn't so geographically undesirable, I'd probably marry him. Just sayin'. Also, I think that I'm pan sexual. I just figured out what this meant the other day, but I'm pretty sure that this is what I am.

My crushes/feelings aren't restricted to sex, I fall for personality.

Sounds like me. And a couple of prior situations. I was also completely infatuated by this girl that I had theatre class with back at Columbia. I wanted her to play the main character in my show... and I also wanted to ask her out. Which was a very confusing want back then.

Blah. Better sleep, have to be up in like... seven hours. Sad. Wish me no mean, old ladies.

Blind - K$sha

I am small

I was being inspired for a while, with my writing. I wasn't writing Notches, so shame on me, but I was really enjoying what I was writing. It was just a continuation of this old Harry Potter roleplay that a friend of mine and I used to do. It's been four-five years since we worked on it, so I doubt she'll mind that I took over and wrote some of it.

It was amazing. I was writing something for absolutely no one else but myself. Not that writing Notches is for other people... but it kind of is, right? I expect someone to read it someday, it's pressure because I've taken on this project solo. There used to be two of us, it was so much fun when there was two of us. And now it's just me, and most days I'm perfectly fine with that.

I know what I want to happen. I have some spectacular ideas for the series. I can think about these scenarios for hours and not get bored... But give me a blank page on word and I'm stumped.

It's the beginning that is hard for me. I wrote a scene for season three one day, and it was amazing. I wrote many pages of a very rough draft of this really upsetting scene. But to sit down and write the pilot, and introduce the characters and make them interact together is just... well, it's hard.

I need someone to write this with me, but I don't really know anyone. Except the one person that it all started with, and since she's... well, I don't know what she is - I'm on my own.

In other words, I might be getting a promotion at Target. I've decided that the Fresh Market is probably not a good idea... seeing as how they apparently are only going to give me TWENTY hours a week. WTF Seriously? I can't live off of that. If I get this promotion, I'll be in charge of the photo lab. How cool is that?

Then I think about how stressful all of this is going to be. Working full-time, going to school full-time. When am I going to have a chance to breathe?

And most importantly, when am I going to stop being a lazy ass and write this fucking television series? These scenes are going to slip through my fingers if I don't write them out, y'know?

I just want to be great. Is that so much to ask for?

Breathe Me - Sia

this is more like april fools

SO. Haley and I had a very Harry Potter day Friday. We watched Harry Potter, had dragon snot punch and cockroach clusters, talked about HP things, and we were on our way to see the new Harry Potter movie when something happen.

It's so humiliating but it's also extremely hilarious. We were driving down this country road, cornfields on either side of us and we saw this fog up ahead. This was a warm, dry night... it hadn't been raining at all, and the road was wet. There was this fog crap creeping up from the wet road and we slowed down. We started discussing how weird it looked and were wondering why the road looked like that....

WHEN THIS WATER JUST HIT THE WINDSHIELD. It scared the SHIT out of us. It was the perfect amount of time between us being confused and then RAWR WATER.

... There was a sprinkler watering the cornfields. Bahahahaha. We weren't really thinking clearly, we thought that it was dementors or I was thinking that we were disapperated into a river... we felt SO stupid.

Shark in the Water - V V Brown

EXPECTO PATRONUM.

Financial aid is taken care of. I'll be getting around a thousand dollars back as a refund, which is desperately needed for one of these damn bills. Still waiting to hear back from Fresh Market, spoke to them yesterday and they don't have the results from the background check. Damn, it's been over two weeks.

Having a Harry Potter marathon, occasionally talking to the tv and telling it that it left stuff out. I know, I know, they couldn't fit every detail in the movie. BUT COULD THEY REALLY NOT PUT IN WHO MOONY WORMTAIL PADFOOT AND PRONGS WERE? Really.

Watching Goblet of Fire. Cedric's about to die. :'(

we're bobbing along in our barrel

So I've finished rereading the first two Harry Potter books, and I've just rewatched the movies. And yelled at the tv a lot because they mess things up and it's annoying. I'm halfway through the third book, which is one of my favorites. Because... I love Sirius Black. He is my lover. He just isn't aware, because he's a fictional character and also 'cause, well... he's dead. :( BUT STILL. We are in love, and he's hot. Not Gary Oldman, but actually hot like a younger Trent Reznor.

Anyway, Harry Potter just brings out the fangirl in me. I started watching the third movie, but only watched until I was at the part where I haven't finished in the book. And I squealed because the difference of the appearance of the actors in the second to third movie is insane. Malfoy gets hot. Flitwick and Dumbledore get replaced. (I liked the original Dumbledore, I was really sad when he died.) And they decided that men in their thirties should look like they're fifty. (*cough Lupin Sirius cough*)

I finished my latest television adventure - Wonderfalls. It was an interesting tv show, definitely. My favorite part about it was the wax lion. Everything else that talked was okay, but the wax lion had some attitude. I wish I had him, I'd keep him on my shelf and show him off and be like, "this is my smooshed face wax lion and he tells me to do things"

I hate when I go into watching a show, knowing it only lasted one or two seasons, because I know I'm going to like it but I don't want to, because as soon as I start to like it... it'll be over.

Apparently I'm supposed to watch Smallville. If I had actual readers, I would ask for an opinion on the show. No one reads this, though. Yay.

Also, Torchwood: Miracle Day. A-mazing. The previews for the next episode look insane and awesome. I also can't help but cringe every time I think of the suicide bomber and him still being alive even though he's all charred up, and the most recent episode with the woman in the crushed car. Their lives suck.

It irritates me a little, and I hope it's explained later, but how is it that when JACK died before, he regenerated and was okay in a few hours. When everyone else dies, they just get all charred up and stay that way. Shouldn't they be healing if their roles were simply switched with Jack? Oh, and I have a lesbian crush on Gwen. Can't help it, she's much more bad assier this season.

I started watching Rizzoli and Isles, thinking that I was going to see some cute cop lesbian stuff, but it's most just subtext. Are they going to come out any time soon, or is this just going to be a running thing?

Catching up on Dexter before the new season starts - I love how Showtime replays the entire series before the new season starts up. I missed season five, so this is awesome. Also - the Big C? Definite love there. The first thing I saw of that show was the season one finale final scene, which completely broke my heart and I knew nothing about the characters. Laura Linney is kind of amazing.

Apparently I also need to check out Weeds. I might do this before I consider Smallville, seeing how Weeds is on Showtime and every showtime series that I've watched I've loved, I'll probably like it more. I heard that United States of Tara was canceled. Is that true? Because I haven't seen season three yet, but the first two seasons were AWESOME. Oh, and Nurse Jackie. I've seen the first two seasons of that, can't wait to watch the rest. LOVE Zoey.

Yep. Can't wait for this fall when all of the other shows come back on. Can't wait until January when SHAMELESS returns for it's second season. Hope it can live up to it's amazing first season (yes I'm aware of the BBC show, have seen a few episodes, prefer William H Macy, sorry).

Well, goodnight.

Wonderfalls theme song is stuck in my head.

So I got a rental car. It's pretty gorgeous. It's a 2011 Nissan Altima. And it's prettttttttty. It's blue.

I miss my car, but it's all hurt and needs to be fixed.

I'm still waiting to hear about a new job, but HR is out of their office until tomorrow so... we'll see.

My friends suck. Guys only want me for some dirty skanky sex and no one wants to just HANG out. Blah.

I've never said "no" to sex before. I did yesterday, and it was like that basically had no effect at all. It made me feel things. Things I don't completely understand. Like dirty and unimportant. We didn't have sex, but it took like ten minutes of me saying "No" until the trying to sex me up actually stopped.

Whatever.

Watching Grey's, no music. Just lots of blood.

in slow motion, the blast is beautiful

So I woke up this morning at 7:30. I got ready for work, anticipating making free Starbucks samples today and getting to drink them. Since I can't afford to actually buy Starbucks, and Target is too cheap and selfish to let us actually make ourselves an occasional free drink.

I took off at a reasonable time to allow myself to get to work. Picked a playlist on my MP3 and set off for work. Somewhere a Clock is Ticking by Snow Patrol was blaring and I was driving down a country road when all of a fucking sudden, there was a car pulling out right in front of me.

I slammed on my breaks, but it was like slow motion. All that I could hear in my brain was STOP STOP STOP. But he was too close, and I hit him.

I watched my car hit the driver's side of his dark blue chevy, and watched it go into a small ditch. My hands were shaking as I threw the door open and watched him get out of his car. After him telling me that he was okay, I got my phone out and called my mother. Because, while almost being twenty-three years of age, my first instinct when there's trouble - is talk to my mommy.

After I told her what happened and asked her to come to the scene, I dialed 911. Explained that we needed a police and that no one was injured.

So this wreck was clearly not my fault. An old man pulled out in front of me and I hit him. He tried to claim that I was going 65 miles an hour, but I swear he had no idea how fast I was going - his face wasn't even pointed toward my direction. He had no idea that I was there. Then the cop said "Sir, it doesn't matter if she was going eighty, you still pulled out in front of her and this wreck is your fault."

I watched them tow away my car. My car that I just got two months ago, that's not new to the world but new to me. My first NICE car. My 2007 Ford Fusion was all fucked up on the passenger side front end of the car.

Sad face.

I miss my car.

In other words, I've basically gotten a new job. It's at the Fresh Market, which pays more than Target (STARTING), and seems like a lot less sucky of an environment. I just have to wait until they run my background check, and then I've got the job. Part-time bakery. I'm gonna gain so much weight.

I have my classes registered and I'm getting my books on Wednesday. Going back to school starting August 23rd.

So there's a little update. My head hurts.

Somewhere a Clock is Ticking - Snow Patrol