you can be better all by yourself

This was an exhausting last few months.

Let's see, I'm not in the mood to write it all out especially with a couple of xanex's in my system so I'll just give a bit of an update.

School's out. I failed every class because I stopped going. My doctor thinks that I'm depressed because I have had a lot anxiety (especially when driving), I don't want to get out of bed in the morning, and I have no energy to face the day anymore. Therapy next week.

Black Friday was a fucking nightmare. I had to work at the Starbucks in Target from 11:40 pm until 10:20 am. Yeah. I wanted to kill myself. I came home, took two painkillers, and passed the fuck out. When I woke up, my mom had to bring me dinner in bed because I was so fucking sore that I couldn't force myself to get out of bed.

That's actually when the depressing shit started.

I met this guy. We met in mid-October and we've hung out a few times at his place. He's not from here, so he's already much cooler than the other guys that I've shagged over the years. Here's a little (maybe huge) bonus, though. He's fucking hot. We met online and when we met in person, not that I have low self-esteem anymore, but I was just like "shit he's too pretty for me." I was afraid to touch him and he made the first mood.

I don't really see us having a future, but it's way too early to be so pessimistic. Neither of us know exactly what we're looking for, so it's fine for now. He watched Buffy with me, having had no experience with the show. We watched the cheesey 90's pilot episode and enjoyed it. I hope that Buffy evenings continue, because that's all I want. I even told him, for the longest time I've just wanted someone to watch Buffy with and have sex with and he said "I'd like to be that guy." So yay.

Swimming laps at the Y, but their pool schedule is super inconvenient so I might be looking into Bob's Gym, which is 24 hrs and only ten bucks more a month. We'll see. :)

My job is stressful. The woman that I got the job over hates me and wants to get me into trouble, but I don't give a fuck about her. She's just bitter and has a sad, sad life.

My two gay friends have been terrible to me lately and I'm thinking that it's probably going to have to end for a while. Whatever, I deserve better.

Making several friends at work, so that's happy.

Okay, goodnight. <3

Don't Kick the Chair - Dia Frampton